Bring It On

I keep thinking it will get better. When I take Jude back, back to the place where strangers care for him, lovely, kind people, but strangers nonetheless. I hate it. I hate myself for not being able to care for him by myself, not being what he needs now, not being able to parent him … Continue reading Bring It On

The Weight

I have it all laid out on the table. Syringe, butterfly needle, alcohol swabs and a bottle of seven thousand dollar medicine on a sterile drape. We have a tourniquet, and we have sung the ABC’s while washing our hands. Time for an infusion. Sage had a fistula, an artificial vein that made it easy … Continue reading The Weight

Paranormal Activity

Driving home from radiation treatments, I made him swear to haunt me. “Swear.” “I swear!” “No, I mean, really swear. Don’t get to heaven and get all happy and rapturous and busy talking to Mother Theresa and John Lennon and forget.” “You think John Lennon is in heaven?” I look at him over my glasses. … Continue reading Paranormal Activity


I hate feeling like I am flailing. I am ok at advocating for those I love; dogged, determined, clear. But when I am flailing I do nobody any good. I just occasionally land a blow here or there on people I don’t want to hurt. It happens when I am sad, when my kids are … Continue reading Banshee